I haven’t posted in so long! Been busy busy busy as I am a new mum. Well almost new mum as baby is nearly 5 months! It was all unexpected but the highs and lows have all been worth it, as I now have a handsome little boy; Xander Robert Stirling.
Just over a year ago I took a pregnancy test, it was meant to be a peace of mind test but no I looked down to see two lines... I was out at the time, taking the test in the local Burger King toilets, classy. I managed to get back to the car- fighting back tears- where I then broke down. One child is hard enough, how will I manage with two?! I was taking the pill but forget to take one every so often and me being naive didn’t think it will make much difference. I spent most of my pregnancy worrying and yeah abortion and adoptions both crossed my mind. In my opinion I don’t agree with abortion, if people want to have one then that’s up to them but me personally I wouldn’t be able to go trough with it even though it did seem like the right decision at the time. With abortion out of the question, my mind soon turned to adoption. It would be such an honour to give someone a family. I know there’s lots of woman out there struggling to have children, so it seemed like the best option. Connor did not agree, if I was to carry his child there was no way that he would be able to live with someone else bringing them up. The more I thought about it the more that idea attracted to fade away. I wouldn’t be able to live with knowing I have a child out there and someone else is bringing them up. This little baby was relying on me, I was silly enough to miss a couple pills so I need to be strong for baby.
It wasn’t until the second scan at around 20 weeks that I realised this is definitely happening. I found out I was having a little boy, the excitement kicked in. I’m actually having another baby. I had monthly scans due to my bmi being low at the start. These scans helped me bond with baby a lot more, seeing him wiggle around. He was my little boy, how could I ever think of giving him up. We started thinking of names and it wasn’t until around a week before he was born that we named him Xander. Again I wanted something unusual.
Due date 25th December, contractions started in the morning. This was nothing like my first time, I didn’t cope too well with the pain this time and made 3 visits to the hospital that day but on the third visit I gave birth to little one within an hour.
At 01:30am 26th December my little boy was here, weighing 3.95kg/8.7lbs. I wouldn’t change him for the world.
I never thought I would be sat here at 21 with two kids, but I love my little family. I do regret ever thinking of abortion or adoption, this special little boy has made my family complete, however, I will be taking better precautions this time round. Moral of the story don’t become lazy with the pill. Stay tuned for a post about Xander, labour, and what it’s been like second time round in the near future.
Thank you for reading, I would love to hear your stories about when you found out you was pregnant.
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